Every Scam is different, but they all work in somewhat the same way. It’s frustrating and sometimes aggravating when you first start online dating. Suddenly you experience someone who claims they care, and you start to build a friendship with that person only to find out they aren’t who they claim to be. Then the illusion falls away when you realize that they aren’t using “their” own pictures. It happens on every website, not just the free ones. I met my first scammer on Match.com.
I was flattered because unlike some of the men that I met online, he text regularly, he knew what to say, and up until he was discovered he was kind. I felt stupid when I found out, because I was supposed to be “wicked smaht.” I felt like I wasn’t. I felt duped and played. I found out over careful investigation, and through questioning, he wasn’t the person who I thought I was talking to.
Some of the things just didn’t make sense. I googled his phone number and found it belonging to Viber (this site and kik are home to scammers and to married men looking for something on the side- be weary when someone asks you to get of the dating site and on to those services), a free telephone service. I asked for specific details about where he lived in MA, and he just told me Downtown Boston – no street nothing (when pressed he told me his parents bought it for him). He was supposed to be in Army, but graduated Annapolis, when I looked for the year he graduated, he wasn’t listed. I finally found that the style of military email that he was using wasn’t used by the military anymore, and the email was generated by a spoofer located in the Ukraine. So I confronted him. I just really wanted to know why he was doing this. It didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t get my answers, the Viber number and email that he was using disappeared.
I got “wicked smaht” after that. Thankfully, I wasn’t taken for money or for dirty pictures (don’t just don’t share personal pictures to a stranger). It just left me feeling just down.
I hear from more and more friends that they meet these wonderful men, then they find out that they are scammers, and their heart breaks. The scammers give us the illusion of what we want from others. The thing is, it happens to everyone, woman, man, straight, gay, etc.. They play with the feelings of people who are want to believe in love and happiness and want to share it with others.
I know that this sounds cruel, but I go in with the belief that all people that communicate through a dating service or online is a scammer. But a good rule to follow is: Start vetting before you communicate with the person, and you can do this. You can identify them almost immediately if you read their profiles. Before you talk to them. Are they using a full name, like Scott Brown (or my favorite is when they call themselves Brown Scott, not knowing that usually Brown is not a first name. It tells me that got the name from a database somewhere).
Let’s look at some I have come across:
The Bot: This was from a dating site called Plenty of Fish, where you can instantly communicate with whoever. In this case I suspected a Scammer but wanted to know more and have fun. Usually the man is a widow with young children. He tells a sad story, I heard this before and new it would be a script so I created an unbelievable story to see if he would move from his script and he didn’t.
This type of scammer is called a bot, someone at the other end or a program sends out these communication. The objective of this is to get you off the site, either to continue the communication or to get your infromation. Don’t click on these links usually, it’s malware.
Military Man: Scott Beckler, is a fake, he is in uniform and is posing as a “Peace Keeper in Syria” – We currently do not have any Peace Keepers in Syria, or any contracters in Syria, nor do we have a forward base there. They will call themselves Military Men, and do not use miltary jargon, not even the ones that are common. In this case, I figured I would give it back to him to see if he could ID the jargon I used. He didn’t know any of the Jargon I used. I knew he was a Scammer because he used his real name on Skout, no one does.
The Fictional Character: Sometimes the Scammers most likely do not know they are based on some sort of fake character from a popular western TV show. I just couldn’t help myself. When John Smith (in this case Smith, John) blonde and sporting a bow tie, I just couldn’t help myself. The conversation goes longer than what I have here, he asked me my name and I told him I was Sarah Jane. But it shows how ridiculous it is. I would have just x him but my favorite character texting me on a dating site, what girl could resist. It was like Skout gave me a little gift, just a sampling of goodness. But the sad part of this, is a woman didn’t know Doctor Who (the Doctor goes by John Smith at times), she would have been swept away by a handsome man who would be interested in her.
Why Scammers? I don’t know, all I know is that they are horrible people. Usually, woman get scammers from Nigeria or Russia, for some reason the men get them from Russia and the Philippines. It could be that they are working for others who split the money or the information that they gather.
Then there are just really disgusting men out there. That are not Scammer but are not super nice. This was taken from Tinder. I guess I saved these images because I wanted to share them with others to say that they aren’t alone, that this is really happening. There are a lot more Screen grabs that I haven’t shared, because some of them are to disgusting to share.
I can’t tell you how many unsolicited penis pictures I have gotten. I don’t know why men think it’s okay to send them,
I don’t have a lot of experience on the guy side, but in talking to some of the men, they get crazy scammers. Some just wonder outloud if these dating sites work.
But here is the thing about Scammers, they are everywhere. They will send you a message through Facebook. They will send you an unsolicited text message. They will prey anywhere they thing they can find people that will fall for them.
If a situation feels to go to be true, it could be. Trust your gut, but also trust your ability to do a google search. Search facebook for them. See if you can find out who they say they are. Sometimes you will be surprised.
Next, the Married Ones —